The Type of Mom I Shall Not Become

On January 8th, this article was published on Wall Street Journal.

In summary, the author believes that the best way to educate children is by setting up many rules and forbid, yes, I use the word forbid, them from doing anything they may like, or exercise their human right of choice making.

These are her 10 cannot's (quoted from the article):



• attend a sleepover
• have a playdate
• be in a school play
• complain about not being in a school play
• watch TV or play computer games
• choose their own extracurricular activities
• get any grade less than an A
• not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama
• play any instrument other than the piano or violin
• not play the piano or violin.

Having grown up in an Asian family, I call these rules bullcrap.  I was born in Taiwan, so naturally my parents were strict, in comparison to most Western parents.  However, they were humane about it.  Yes, we had rules to follow, and there were things we were not supposed to do, but we at least could have friends, playdates, sleepovers, voice our opinions (which at times were responded with punishment, but at least we had the opportunity to do so), and our grades weren't the biggest issue.  Naturally, my parents wanted us to do well in school, but they understood that not everyone is perfect and not everyone can be #1 in school.

Also, the whole "must not play other instrument" thing cracked me up.  I can't help but wonder if this author knows of any musical instruments other than piano & violin.  How about viola, cello, bass, flute, piccolo, oboe, clarinet, trumpet, etc.?  Does she think that an orchestra only consists of piano and violins?  Gimme a friggin break!

Needless to say, I am appalled by this article.  If I were to make a list of 10 things, based on this author's list, my list would be the following:


• sleepover should be agreed by parents from all parties, with phone numbers exchanged.
• playdates shall be accompanied by parents or responsible adults.
• school play or other extracurricular activities shall be discussed prior to making the commitment.
• once committed to an activity, one shall do the best to complete it.  Quitting is frowned upon.
• TV shows and computer games shall be chosen wisely and age appropriate.
• the children shall choose their own extracurricular activities without overloading themselves and the parents.
• study hard, and play hard, but not at the same time.
• not required to be the No. 1 student in every subject but promise to give full effort in everything.
• communicate with parents if interested in any musical instruments.
• practice the instrument(s) of choice.  if not, then don't waste time and money on the lessons.

So that's my list.